Tag Archives: Asperger Syndrome

Same-Sex Attraction is Either Mental Illness or it is Internal Sin

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confusion

Please note that my post is directed toward those who consider themselves to be faithful Catholics. If you are not a faithful Catholic, there is probably a 100% chance that you will disagree with this post. I am not trying to convince you that I am right. Rather, I want to have a discussion with the faithful on this topic. By faithful, I refer to those who know what the term “Loyal to the Magisterium” means and would describe themselves as such.

After my post yesterday “How To Become a Saint Among Sodomites” someone emailed the link to another post on my blog to someone else who then visited that emailed link. The link that was emailed was my post “Mental Illness: The Only Time Homosexual Inclination Is Not Internal Sin,” which was written over a year ago on December 6, 2011. My recollection is that on that date, I was returning to blogging after a trip to the crisis unit for being suicidal. (I have a dual diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and Asperger Syndrome.) That post was way too long and not well written as it should have been, so I want to cover the topic here again. Same-sex attraction is either mental illness or it is internal sin.

Catholics are to treat mental illness completely differently from sin. A mentally ill person is the image of Christ in the world, whereas a person in sin is in need of repentance. Further, we are not allowed to judge hearts. No wonder, then, that Satan is using this issue to attack the freedom of the Church to be herself in America. Satan is very sneaky, but he can be lazy with this issue, because it is so easy for people to be confused about it and for them to accuse those who speak the truth on this to be “judging” people who are often, in reality, just very sick in the sense of deserving our compassion.

For the Catholic.

1. Same-sex attraction is an objective disorder.

In the discussion which followed the publication of the Declaration, however, an overly benign interpretation was given to the homosexual condition itself, some going so far as to call it neutral, or even good. Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder. (Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.)

2. Disorder is never intrinsic. This is why we cannot accept that anyone is “gay.” No one is intrinsically inclined to homosexuality. Same-sex attraction is always something that can be healed.

3. People can experience unwanted same-sex attraction. Because same-sex attraction is objectively disordered, unwanted same-sex attraction is a mental disorder. Because of this, people with unwanted same-sex attraction who are seeking healing are the image of Christ in the world.

4. Demanding to be identified as “gay” is a rejection of the teaching that same-sex attraction is objectively disordered. It is a claim that same-sex attraction is intrinsic to the person experiencing it. Demanding to be identified as “gay” is equivalent to embracing the heresy of total depravity. (Council of Trent, Session 6, Canon 5.) Those who are teaching that it is okay to identify as “gay” are teaching heresy.

See why Satan loves this? If you experience unwanted same-sex attraction and are seeking healing, you are the image of Christ. If you experience unwanted same-sex attraction but demand to be identified as “gay” you are embracing heresy. Satan loves that. He loves when Catholic bloggers say people are “gay.”

The disorder of same-sex attraction is, in an important way, comparable to my Bipolar Disorder in that sometimes I experience delusion. Delusion is an inability to understand reality, and delusion sometimes involves thinking I should kill myself. My brain and my heart contradict each other completely during these times. On committing suicide, my heart says “No, no, no” and my brain says “Yes, yes, yes.” That is why, during those times, the only thing that keeps me from suicide is to force myself to think (in my brain) that God’s will, which I can be intellectually assured of through the teaching of the Church, and which is that I should not kill myself, trumps what I “think” in my head. Because of my journey in Christ prior to these delusions, my heart is with Christ. Provided that the people that I love and trust are telling me that my identity is in Him, not in what my brain is telling me to do, I will not commit suicide. If someone I love and trust tells me that my identity is in what my brain is telling me, I will commit suicide.

Delusion – being out of touch with reality – is mental disorder. It is a lack of free will because consent to the truth is not something that one can intellectually grasp. People with same-sex attraction, I presume because they have told me so, can experience that delusion, which is a lack of free will. That is not sin, because there is no free will involved. It is mental disorder. When the attraction is claimed as an identity, however, that is accepting a sexual disorder as “intrinsic.” It is saying that lust is intrinsic. It is the heresy of total depravity.

I hope this post makes more sense than the previous one on this topic. If it does not, I will try again…and again…and again…until you understand it.

By the way, medication helps people with Bipolar Disorder…especially Lithium which is a natural element and non-narcotic.

UPDATE: This post has been endorsed by Pope Francis. Okay, not specifically, but…

The Unforgivable Sin of Rudeness

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This is an Asperger post. Asperger is something I have, not something I am, by the way. This is an Asperger post about the ostensibly unforgivable “sin” of “rudeness,” or the “necessary virtue” of “brutal honesty,” depending on how you judge it. It is not directed to anyone in particular. Call it a therapy thing. No, not for me. For you, silly. All of you.

I have noticed that some people love seeing in me what other people call “rudeness” and hate me for. Here is some news. I am not “rude.” Neither am I “virtuous.” I have Asperger.

You can read about Asperger and rudeness here, here, here, here, here, here…and lots of other places.

As you can see, a lot of people complain about “rudeness” which is why there are so many articles (about 418,000 according to Google) explaining that it isn’t really rudeness. It’s Asperger.

It is not often that one writes an article praising someone for “brutal honesty” unless what was said is something they happen to agree with. Odd, that.

Since there are so many people out there who want me to be “polite,” I decided to go ahead and look the word up and see what the heck, truly, they are asking me to be.

Here are some definitions for “polite”:

showing good manners toward others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil: a polite reply.

Hmmm. Yea, that’s not helping. Let’s try another.

refined or cultured: polite society.

I tweet Beethoven and Pachelbel sometimes. Does that count? Nah, I don’t think so.

Let’s try another definition.

of a refined or elegant kind: polite learning.

Um, I don’t think that’s what you mean either.

Let’s try some synonyms for “polite.”

well-bred, gracious, civil, urbane, polished, poised, courtly, cultivated.

I can hear my daughter now. “That’s so racist!” Yes, she would say that, but hey, I know you’re not racist. I do think you might need to get over this thing you have with requiring “politeness,” though, because whatever it is (and I still don’t really know), I can’t do it.

But it’s okay. I’ll still have Elvis.

Vatican: Christian Solidarity for Autistic People and Their Families

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Vatican City, 3 April 2013 (VIS) – On the occasion of the celebration yesterday, 2 April, of the Sixth World Autism Awareness Day, Archbishop Zygmunt Zimowski, president of the Pontifical Council for Health Care Workers, published the following message:

“Dearest brothers and sisters, on the occasion of the Sixth World Autism Awareness Day, which this year takes place during the liturgical period of the Easter festivities, the Pontifical Council for Health Care Workers intends to express the solicitude of the Church for autistic people and their families, inviting Christian communities and people of good will to express authentic solidarity towards them.”

“I would like to take as a point of departure for my reflections the approach of Jesus who drew near to, and walked with, the disciples on the way to Emmaus (cf. Lk 24:13-35). The look marked by loss, and even more by amazement, that shaped the steps of Cleopas and Simon could be a similar expression to—and equally similarly be found within—that which marks the faces and the hearts of parents who have a son or a daughter with autism.”

“Autism: this is a word that still generates fear today even though in very many cultures which traditionally excluded handicaps the ‘diversely able’ have begun to be accepted socially, and many of the prejudices that have surrounded people with disabilities and even their parents have begun to be dismantled. To define someone as autistic seems automatically to involve a negative judgement about those who are afflicted by it, and, implicitly, a sentence involving a definitive distancing from society. On the other hand, the person concerned seems to be unable to communicate in a productive way with other people, at times as though shut up in a ‘glass bell’, in his or her impenetrable, but for us wonderful, interior universe.”

“This is a ‘typical and stereotyped’ image of the autistic child which requires profound revision. Ever since her birth, as a guiding theme, the Church has always expressed her care for this aspect of medicine through practical testimonies at a universal level. Above all else, this is witness to Love beyond stigma, that social stigma that isolates a sick person and makes him or her feel an extraneous body. I am referring to that sense of loneliness that is often narrated within modern society but which becomes even more present in modern health care which is perfect in its ‘technical aspects’ but increasingly deprived of, and not attentive to, that affective dimension which should, instead, be the defining aspect of every therapeutic act or pathway.”

“Faced with the problems and the difficulties that these children and their parents encounter, the Church with humility proposes the way of service to the suffering brother, accompanying him with compassion and tenderness on his tortuous human and psycho-relational journey, and taking advantage of the help of parishes, of associations, of Church movements and of men and women of good will.”

“Dear brothers and sisters, setting oneself to listen must necessarily be accompanied by an authentic fraternal solidarity. There should never fail to be global care for the ‘frail’ person, as a person with autism can be: this takes concrete form with that sense of nearness that every worker, each according to his or her role, must know how to transmit to the sick person and his or her family, not making that person feel a number but making real the situation of a shared journey that is made up of deeds, of attitudes and of words—perhaps not dramatic ones but ones that suggest a daily life that is nearer to normality. This means listening to the imperious exhortation that we should not lose sight of the person in his or her totality: no procedure, however perfect it may be, can be ‘effective’ if it is deprived of the ‘salt’ of Love, of that Love that each one of these sick people, if looked at in their eyes, asks of you. Their smile, the serenity of a family that sees its loved one at the centre of the complex organisation that each one of us, by our specific tasks, is called to manage for his or her life, and perceived and achieved sharing: this is the best ‘outcome’ that will enrich us.”

“In practice, this is a matter of welcoming autistic children in the various sectors of social, educational, catechistic and liturgical activity in a way that corresponds and is proportionate to their capacity for relationships. Such solidarity, for those who have received the gift of Faith, becomes a loving presence and compassionate nearness for those who suffer, following the example and in imitation of Jesus Christ, the Good Samaritan who by his passion, death and resurrection redeemed humanity.”

“The Pontifical Council for Health Care Workers, during the Year of Faith, wishes to share with people who suffer because of autism the hope and certainty that adherence to Love enables us to recognise the Risen Christ every time that he makes himself our neighbour on the journey of life. Let what John Paul II, in whose intercession we trust and the eighth anniversary of whose return to the house of the Father we remember specifically today, be a reference point for us: ‘The quality of life in a community is measured largely by its commitment to assist the weaker and needier members with respect for their dignity as men and women. The world of rights cannot only be the prerogative of the healthy. People with disabilities must also be enabled to participate in social life as far as they can, and helped to fulfil all their physical, psychological and spiritual potential. Only by recognizing the rights of its weakest members can a society claim to be founded on law and justice’ (John Paul II, Message on the Occasion of the International Symposium on the Dignity and Rights of the Mentally Disabled Person, 7-9 January 2004, n. 3).”

“May what the Holy Father Francis observed during the first days of his papacy—expressing his nearness to the sick and the suffering—be constant light: ‘we must keep the thirst for the absolute alive in the world, not allowing a one-dimensional vision of the human person to prevail, according to which man is reduced to what he produces and to what he consumes: this is one of the most dangerous snares of our time’!”

“While I hope for the cooperation of everyone in a choral and compassionate answer to the numerous needs that come to us from our brothers and sisters with autism and their families, I entrust the sufferings, the joys and the hopes of these people to the mediation of Mary, Mother of Christ and ‘Health of the Sick’ who, at the foot of the Cross, taught us to pause beside all the crosses of contemporary Man (cf. “Salvifici Doloris”, n. 31).”

“To people with autism, to their families and to all those who are involved in their service, while confirming my nearness and prayer, I send my personal and affectionate best wishes for a serene and joyous Easter with the Risen Lord.”

Source: Vatican Information Service

Visit the Vatican News website.

Response to Jacob Perry’s ‘Coming Out With Autism’

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My friend Zilla read my blog post on why I’m so blunt that is about my Asperger Syndrome (AS) and called my attention to a post by her friend Jacob Perry: Coming Out With Autism. (AS is on the autism spectrum, so I’m told.) I’d like to highlight a few of the things he wrote that stood out to me.

For the record, I never discuss AS and rarely tell people that I have it (though I have written about it before). Not because I’m embarrassed or ashamed in any way (because I’m most certainly not), but because I’m not sure it’s relevant to anything at all. I mean, I love to eat BBQ but that’s rarely something that I openly share with people when I meet them for the first time.

I don’t care to talk about it, either, because it’s not relevant to me. It may be relevant to you, but it’s not relevant to me, and that kind of thinking is itself symptomatic.

Growing up I was always the smartest kid in the class, usually by a mile.

Me, too, but my grades didn’t exactly reflect it. Some of my teachers pushed me hard because they knew I was brilliant and assumed this meant that I could do better than I was doing. They were wrong about that. I had trouble understanding what was expected of me. That’s what the problem was. I’m still that way. I put all of my intellectual energy into trying to know what God expects of me. He is more clear than people are. Black and white is easy for me. Gray, I have a problem with.

I was also the kid who was the weird loner, the one who had no interest in interactions with fellow classmates and who usually took a book out to the playground at recess.

I was more of a “class clown” because I knew I was supposed to be social and that was how I handled it – on my own terms. I had (and still have) a lot of “acquaintances” but I neither desire, nor have, very close friends.

I didn’t really have friends and didn’t much care about having them.

That was me. I was “social” and I am still “social” (superficially) but I have no close friends, and I like it that way. It is easier for me to have superficial, online relationships than face-to-face ones, with the exception of a few people who I do feel very close to, like my kids and my brothers.

Having AS doesn’t make me handicapped or dysfunctional (nor does it mean that I can speak Klingon). It just means that my brain is wired completely opposite of yours.

Which is why, sometimes, when you’re speaking to me, you may as well be speaking Klingon, because I don’t get it. There are some people that I can’t talk to at all without having major problems because they are not sincere people. They are “polite” and say things they don’t really mean. That stuff goes over my head, as do many jokes that people tell. I get sarcasm when I’m the one being sarcastic, or when it is blatant sarcasm, like Bruvver’s blog. Otherwise, no.

There is a constant movie running through my mind at all times and everything is stored as an image. For example, when I read a book I see the words on the pages transformed into images in my mind.

With me, it’s more like an encyclopedia. It’s a good thing I’m intelligent. I have a lot of capacity to store information. Unfortunately, I’m not so good with things like my checkbook or grocery lists or other basic things. I need help with those things.

History is a passion of mine because I can actually see Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address; the stories actually become vividly real to me.

With me, it’s my Catholic Faith. God is as real to me as my kids are. I don’t see Him as “an old man in the sky” like so many do. I have noticed that even many Christians treat God as if He is “somewhere else.” Not so, with me. He is right here in everything for me.

For me the wonderful thing about having AS is that I am astonishingly good at analyzing people. You see, I have spent an entire lifetime trying to figure you out, reading your body language, your facial gestures and the tone of your voice in order to better understand you. I often describe having AS by comparing it to being Captain Kirk from Star Trek and suddenly being beamed down to a new and very strange planet. Everyone on this new planet looks and sounds like me, but I don’t feel connected to them/you at all. Those normal intimate human bonds which seem normal to everyone else don’t really happen for me. 100% of my interactions with other people are a learned behavior.

I agree with every word of that…especially that last sentence. You need to realize that when I am talking to you, if you are not someone very close to me, like my brother or my kids, my interactions with you are very often my merely playing back snippets from the encyclopedia in my head back to you. Make no mistake, I am very good at it, and most people with AS who are adults and who have been doing this for many years, are very good at it. It is impossible for us to live in the world otherwise.

Another positive for me is the simple fact that I do not care what others think of me. I’m the guy who will say the crazy things you are thinking because I am not concerned with anyone’s approval.

That’s me, too. People have called me “courageous” and “rude” and everything in between. It’s neither.

I don’t desire or seek anyone’s approval — I’m perfectly comfortable in my own skin. While I admit that this has it’s drawbacks, it’s the one aspect of my personality that I wish I could give to you.

If only. The world would be an easier place for me to live in if people were only interested in God’s approval and not the approval of other people.

The down sides to having AS are too numerous to mention, from the incredible mood swings to being prone to depression, but those issues have been significantly mitigated for me since actually being diagnosed (only a few years ago) and learning about why I am this way. It is simply much easier to see the warning signs of a potential problem before it reaches the nuclear phase.

My mood swings are bad enough that I have a dual diagnosis of AS and Bipolar Disorder. Lithium helps a great deal. Nothing else seems to. I offer it up.

I rarely get a good night’s sleep, generally only a series of hour-long naps and it’s common for me to get up and do some work at 3 or 4 am.

That’s me, too. Rick Santorum asked me once during his campaign, “Do you ever sleep?” I said, “I sleep intermittently.”

I tend to be very logical, very blunt and extremely direct, though I’ve learned how to be more diplomatic as I’ve gotten older. Remember, 100% of my interactions with others are a learned behavior for me; I have no instincts when it comes to human behavior. My problem has always been that the learning process has often been a very painful one, with a trail of broken relationships, anger and hurt feelings left in my wake.

Yup.

For what it’s worth I wouldn’t change a thing. God, in His infinite wisdom, created me this way, and did so because I was created to serve Him. I do not question His wisdom and happily accept myself just the way that I am. I just wish that I could count the number of toothpicks before they hit the ground.

Ditto.

Why I’m So Blunt

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This tweet from Kathryn Lopez caught my attention.

 

It caught my attention because there seems to be disagreement among Catholics about whether one can possibly have both love and clarity in being loyal to Catholic values in an age where, we are told by elites, people are rejecting those values in large numbers. “Clarity” really means “bluntness.” Can we be blunt with people about the teachings of the Faith without freaking them out and making them hate us because they don’t understand it and cannot accept it?

Folks, I cannot afford to care about that. It’s important that I not care about it, because if I cared about it, I would have to quit trying. You see, the reason I do not get this disagreement at all is because I have Asperger Syndrome. I am very blunt because I don’t know how not to be. (I also have Bipolar Disorder.) I don’t know how much control other people have over “bluntness.” I can’t even regulate my own, much less gauge someone else’s. Impossible. What a hypocrite I would be if I criticized someone for bluntness when it is often impossible for me not to be.

My disorders don’t get anything close to the attention homosexuality is getting in the media, and I am fine with the fact that the major news outlets are not DAILY telling people that they must accept Bipolar Disorder or Asperger Syndrome as “normal,” because if you don’t accept it as “normal” then it means you don’t love me. Are you kidding? That would tick me off. Further, if I actually BELIEVED that people who see these disorders as abnormal automatically hate me, I think I’d end up killing myself. So, thank God that’s not happening in the media, but unfortunately, it is happening with homosexuality. No wonder so many “gays” kill themselves. Can you imagine the hopelessness of major news networks constantly saying that the largest body of Christians on earth hates you?

There were Catholics in Ireland before St. Patrick went there. He wasn’t the first one. I’m sure those who were there before him went through a great deal of trouble. They didn’t have the success that St. Patrick did, but we can’t all be St. Patrick, now, can we?

Anyway, you should give Kathryn Lopez’s article a read. I don’t (and can’t) judge anyone. I do know what a sin is, though, and I know what God expects of me. If you’re not okay with that, fine. Here’s the thing. Any movement that is based on convincing everyone that people who “judge” others are full of hate is devoid of logic. D-E-V-O-I-D of logic. Someday, just as virtually everyone knows that slavery was evil, virtually everyone will know that the “gay rights” movement was based on lies.

It may not be in my lifetime that this happens, but it will happen.

By the way, I’m not suicidal. Something tells me I should point that out since I can’t read your minds.

Note: Thanks to my friend Maria who is one of the few people outside my family who gets the Asperger thing about me…and thanks to Leila for introducing me to Maria.