Over the last 14 years since my first diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, I have had to learn to ignore my own brain, including a lot of unhealthy thought patterns, so that I can become the real me. The “real me” is the person that I was intended to be by God. At the moment I am going through a mixed episode, which is the worst part of having this condition, in my experience. It is also the time when my inhibitions are at their weakest, which means that I have no problem talking about it openly now whereas I would at any other time due to the stigma. Unfortunately for you, my readers, I am not thinking as clearly as usual so my writing may not be as good as usual, but I think it’s important that I write anyway because people need to understand what this is like. It is especially important at this time in our country’s history when another mental disorder is being normalized at great cost to our first freedom, freedom of conscience. That mental disorder is homosexuality.
I may ramble some but I speak here from the heart even if my brain is broken.
What do you suppose would be the reaction of the average person if a movement arose among people with Bipolar Disorder to have their condition removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)? What if people with this condition grew so weary of the stigma of Bipolar Disorder that they started to protest and demand that the condition be normalized? This is what happened with homosexuality. It was removed from the DSM not due to scientific studies but because of protests from within the homosexual community and through a vote by homosexuals at the American Psychological Association who worked their way into the decision-making body of the APA in order to effect this change. See Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior Is Changing Everything for a full account.
It is very painful for me to see so many mentally ill people accusing others of “hate” for saying that homosexuality is a mental illness. It is painful to know that so many believe that if you are classified as “mentally ill” then it means there is some kind of conspiracy to dehumanize you. The “gay rights” movement is demeaning to people with mental illness for this reason. The problem lies in the false belief that everyone is perfect, no matter what. The truth of the matter is that everyone is fallen. No one is perfect apart from God. Everyone has imperfections.
Even though everyone has imperfections, if we are to be a society in which people can aspire to great things, we have to be able to say that some things are great enough to aspire to. For the mentally ill person such as myself, the great thing to aspire to in this life other than my relationship with God is a state of good mental health. This is what I aspire to. I aspire to become the “real me” that is very difficult to see because of this cross of mental disorder that I must bear.
Let’s look at the symptoms of a mixed episode so that you can understand better what I mean about becoming the “real me.”
Mixed episodes of bipolar disorder are defined by symptoms of mania and depression that occur at the same time, or in rapid sequence.
- Mania in mixed episodes usually involves irritability, racing thoughts and speech, and overactivity or agitation.
- Depression in mixed bipolar disorder is similar to “regular” depression, with feelings of sadness, loss of interest in activities, low energy, feelings of guilt and worthlessness, and thoughts of suicide.
The “real me” is not irritable. The “real me” does not have racing thoughts and agitation. The “real me” is not depressed, is very social, has adequate energy, and no feelings of guilt or worthlessness. The “real me” does not ever want to commit suicide. Those symptoms are symptoms that I deal with and I am in treatment to correct them because they are definitely not the “real me.”
If I were to adopt the ideology of “gay rights” activists, I would insist that I was born this way (I was, in fact, born this way) and I would demand accommodation. I might say that you are a hateful person if you cannot accept my irritability, or if you did not admire me for feeling worthless. My Christian faith tells me that it would not be okay to demand those things from you. It also tells me that I am objectively not worthless in the eyes of God, therefore I do not need your approval in order to feel good about myself. God keeps me from killing myself even though “gay rights” activists are out there preaching constantly that if you say they have a mental illness then you are dehumanizing them.
Someone who has a mental illness is not automatically “less human.” Mental illness does not take away my human dignity, despite what those who protested the APA would have us believe. Rather, mental illness is an imperfection that I have to rise above in order to be the “real me” that God has created me to be. The “real me” will not listen to thoughts of suicide. It is quite a heavy cross to bear, at times, but our Lord has made my cross redemptive through His own, therefore the burden is made lighter provided that I can stay focused on His Sacrifice for us all.
“Gay rights” activists are quite concerned about “identity” and about demanding that people accept them in their disorder as “normal” despite the fact that the average person can no more bear witnessing a homosexual act than he can bear witnessing a suicide. Spare me the pearl clutching over comparing homosexual acts to suicide. Remember, I deal with that cross of suicidal ideation myself. I am not less of a person because of it. Neither is anyone less of a person if they carry the cross of same-sex attraction. But the act of suicide and the homosexual act are both naturally offensive to human beings who have not been brainwashed to accept them as normal. Suicide itself is accepted as normal by some people as we recently saw with the highly publicized case of Brittany Maynard’s assisted suicide. (See the counter-argument here.)
I pray that our country will wake up to this madness sooner, rather than later. I don’t expect that to happen overnight, but eventually people will see the madness in forcing children with normal sexual inclinations to share bathrooms with people who were born a different sex than they were. It is important that everyone understand that we are helping no one by pretending that insanity is normal and okay. It is certainly making my life more difficult to hear people saying that I am a “bigot” for not accepting the irrational, particularly since my cross in life, for my own good health and to keep me from suicide, is to recognize what is irrational and to reject it.
Please read Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior Is Changing Everything…and please stop saying that it is “hateful” to say that someone has a mental illness. It is easy for you to ignore these arguments, perhaps, but it is killing me, quite literally. The sick should not have to be fighting these battles. The healthy should be fighting on behalf of the sick.
Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.